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Saturday 28 July 2018

For the mere mortals

This is an article published in May-June 2018 edition of 'The Mascot'.

It’s great (honest!) to read in the magazine and on the ASCO Facebook pages the various accounts of refurbishment and major restoration.  Although the authors usually admit to some upsets along the way, there’s no getting away from the fact that their achievements are usually quite stupendous.  The attention to detail is especially astounding.  Frankly, I didn’t even know that the ‘shelf’ at the back of the engine bay was originally set out to hold a variety of tools.  So, well done to all these amazing people.

Unfortunately, for this non-member of Mount Olympus, these accounts can be a bit dispiriting.

Over the winter I’ve been tackling two issues with my Singer 9 Longtail: a screeching noise from clutch/gearbox and some small patches of surface rust on the body.

I’m told the clutch/gearbox problem is probably down to the bronze spigot bush bearing at the end of the crankshaft.  Fortunately, some graphite grease on the clutch spline/shaft has lessened the problem for now.

For the surface rust I decided spray painting was in order.  Not the whole car, just some patches – and therefore only with rattle cans.  OK, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a perfect match, but the various books and websites suggested you should be able to blend the old with the new.  And, indeed, the front off-side panel didn’t work out too badly.

But because I was too heavy-handed there were runs on the rear and on front near-side panel.  So more paint was needed, this time from a local supplier (it’s better to go local I thought).  Except the shade seemed a bit brighter.  But it will be OK when it dries – won’t it?  Except it wasn’t.  So back to the local supplier, who was good enough to replace the two unused cans for free and therefore all was rosy again (except for the need to rub down and prepare yet again).

Colour match seemed OK this time and all was going well until, suddenly, the tin started spraying what can only be described as ‘gunge’.  Looking around me, I noticed that there was a fine green dust covering everything in the garage (the domestic recriminations are ongoing).  And then I read the label on the tin, which said it was 2-PK!!  Luckily, I’m still here to tell the tale.

I therefore went back to my original (internet-based) supplier to get the right paint to remedy the mess.  What I didn’t know was that cellulose on top of 2-PK doesn’t work.  Unless you’re aiming to achieve a crazy-paving pattern.

With the approaching better weather I decided to cut my losses and only fix the front near-side panel.  (The increasing amount of grief from the rest of the family was also a factor.)  So, out with the sander, lay down a new primer coat and purchase two more tins.  But why was it drying matt?  Because, you idiot, you purchased base coat rather than gloss.  I nearly wept.  Having had enough and there being a tin of lacquer to hand, a couple of coats of Halford’s best was applied.

Does the near-side panel look OK?  The section on its own isn’t too bad. But compared to the rest of the panel – very noticeable.

I’m hoping that, once polished, it won’t look too bad.  But I’m also resigned to my two-tone effect and rear crazy paving being a talking point on the show circuit this summer.  

Of course, all of this didn’t happen over a matter of a few days.  The whole saga has been running since before Christmas and it’s therefore been a long and painful lesson that I would be better leaving painting to the professionals.  But I also hope that this account is a comfort to my fellow mere-mortals.