For the mere mortals

This is an article published in May-June 2018 edition of 'The Mascot'.

It’s great (honest!) to read in the magazine and on the ASCO Facebook pages the various accounts of refurbishment and major restoration.  Although the authors usually admit to some upsets along the way, there’s no getting away from the fact that their achievements are usually quite stupendous.  The attention to detail is especially astounding.  Frankly, I didn’t even know that the ‘shelf’ at the back of the engine bay was originally set out to hold a variety of tools.  So, well done to all these amazing people.

Unfortunately, for this non-member of Mount Olympus, these accounts can be a bit dispiriting.

Over the winter I’ve been tackling two issues with my Singer 9 Longtail: a screeching noise from clutch/gearbox and some small patches of surface rust on the body.

I’m told the clutch/gearbox problem is probably down to the bronze spigot bush bearing at the end of the crankshaft.  Fortunately, some graphite grease on the clutch spline/shaft has lessened the problem for now.

For the surface rust I decided spray painting was in order.  Not the whole car, just some patches – and therefore only with rattle cans.  OK, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a perfect match, but the various books and websites suggested you should be able to blend the old with the new.  And, indeed, the front off-side panel didn’t work out too badly.

But because I was too heavy-handed there were runs on the rear and on front near-side panel.  So more paint was needed, this time from a local supplier (it’s better to go local I thought).  Except the shade seemed a bit brighter.  But it will be OK when it dries – won’t it?  Except it wasn’t.  So back to the local supplier, who was good enough to replace the two unused cans for free and therefore all was rosy again (except for the need to rub down and prepare yet again).

Colour match seemed OK this time and all was going well until, suddenly, the tin started spraying what can only be described as ‘gunge’.  Looking around me, I noticed that there was a fine green dust covering everything in the garage (the domestic recriminations are ongoing).  And then I read the label on the tin, which said it was 2-PK!!  Luckily, I’m still here to tell the tale.

I therefore went back to my original (internet-based) supplier to get the right paint to remedy the mess.  What I didn’t know was that cellulose on top of 2-PK doesn’t work.  Unless you’re aiming to achieve a crazy-paving pattern.

With the approaching better weather I decided to cut my losses and only fix the front near-side panel.  (The increasing amount of grief from the rest of the family was also a factor.)  So, out with the sander, lay down a new primer coat and purchase two more tins.  But why was it drying matt?  Because, you idiot, you purchased base coat rather than gloss.  I nearly wept.  Having had enough and there being a tin of lacquer to hand, a couple of coats of Halford’s best was applied.

Does the near-side panel look OK?  The section on its own isn’t too bad. But compared to the rest of the panel – very noticeable.

I’m hoping that, once polished, it won’t look too bad.  But I’m also resigned to my two-tone effect and rear crazy paving being a talking point on the show circuit this summer.  

Of course, all of this didn’t happen over a matter of a few days.  The whole saga has been running since before Christmas and it’s therefore been a long and painful lesson that I would be better leaving painting to the professionals.  But I also hope that this account is a comfort to my fellow mere-mortals.

I hate brake/clutch fluid

So, I sorted my clutch problems?

You know the answer.

I tried various settings for the slave cylinder push-rod.  But all to no avail.  I was still getting horrible crunching noises when trying to move into first or reverse gears, and sometimes also when shifting between 2nd, 3rd and 4th when driving along.  And then I noticed something very odd.  When I depressed the clutch, the slave cylinder push-rod would extend properly; but then after a second or so it would begin to retract.  Therefore, the gear crunching wasn't because the push-rod wasn't extended far enough.  It was because it was retracting.  Which meant a leak somewhere in the clutch hydraulics.  And since there was no obvious leaks in any of the pipes, the most likely culprit was the clutch master cylinder.

Deep breath, get the syringe out, extract the clutch fluid from the master cylinder and begin dismantling.  It's not a difficult job, just time-consuming; especially when you make stupid mistakes (which are a regular occurrence for me).  And while I was about it, I decided to do the brake master cylinder at the same time.

Cutting a long and brake-fluid sodden story short, cleaning out and reassembling the clutch master cylinder made no difference. So yet another bullet had to be bit and a new master cylinder bought. And what a difference! At last, beautifully smooth gear changes (leaving aside my not infrequent incompetence at double-declutching). Which just goes to prove that you shouldn't assume that old cars have to be difficult to drive.

Too tight

Checked rear axle oil after warming car up with a short run. Didn't need filling because already overflowing out of drain plug (must have slightly overfilled when filling from cold). When refitting drain plug I tried to tighten with pliers, not realising that the 'cap' on the plug is thin metal and therefore I ended up pushing it off by over-tightening. I've tried re-attaching it using Gorilla glue, and it looks to be a good fit. 

Since there is a gasket/washer inside the plug and the oil is very viscous, I'm hoping it'll be fine. But note for the future - only hand tighten!

Bling

Getting away from the mechanicals, it's right to also pay attention to the cosmetics. And having been laid up for several years, there is quite a lot that needs to be addressed. First up were the wheels and spinners.

Dad had had the wheels painted silver and the spinners chromed when the car was refurbished in the 1980s. But the years had taken their toll and both were in need of some TLC. The crunch, though, was when it was pointed out that one of the rear wheels had a serious wobble.

So off went the wheels to Rugby Classic Motor Garage and the spinners to Chromefix. Both did a wonderful job, as you can see from the photograph.   (And I also cleaned up and painted the brake drums, but you can't see them.)

At the same time I thought I should do something about the air filter. Dad had installed a plate to hold a Fiat rectangular air filter sitting on top of the two carburettors. Although functional, it looked pretty awful.  Only recently I found that I had the original carburettor bells. Although they might not be quite as effective, I felt they would look much better and therefore arranged to have them refurbished by the local firm Lyndene Engineering Co. Ltd. Again, a big improvement. 

Sometimes new is best

Having cleaned out and serviced all the brake hydraulics, I knew that I should really do the same for the clutch. However, because it seemed to be working OK, I took the cowardly approach and left well alone. 

By the end of last summer, it was clear that something wasn't right. Gear crunching was becoming more prevalent, and that wasn't just my incompetence. So, while the wheels were away I took the plunge and started scrambling about underneath. 

Time and timing

There are two lessons I'm learning fast. First, looking after a classic car is like painting the Forth Rail Bridge. Second, apparently completed jobs are often far from complete.  So, you need lots of time, especially when it comes to timing.

Four men in a 325

This is our favourite show in the annual calendar with BSG 8. However, due to a stuck valve, BSG 8 is currently without its cylinder head and therefore we only had one soft-top to take us on our tour of the Borders. So, my two sons and I squeezed into my brother-in-law's BMW 325 E30 Convertible for the weekend of 25 and 26 June.